In Memoriam: Ericizmine


I am not the first in our community to publicly express my sorrow over the passing of Angela Vaughan (aka EricIzMine).  But I felt the need to add my voice to the others.  We lost a truly wonderful part of “us.”  But–more than that–we lost a wonderful human being.  I cannot even imagine the pain her family and friends are going through.  I only hope that they can read some of what we are saying about the wonderful authoress whose stories we grew to crave.  I hope that our words of appreciation give them some comfort–even if it’s just a little bit and even if it doesn’t happen for a while.

I read Saints and Sinners quite a while back.  It is such a lovely all-human fiction–one of the first AH stories I really got into.  I smiled so much when I read it.  And when I wasn’t smiling, I was biting nails (in that good way).  Saints and Sinners was one of the stories that started me thinking about writing an all-human story of my own.

[So–you see, Angela, you affected my life and my writing.  You enriched me.]

I will admit that I put off reading the Multiverse stories (except for Bored to Death) until this summer.  I sensed that I would be absorbed and that I would face tons of sleep-deprived nights because of Ms. EIM.  And–guess what–I wasn’t wrong!  One after another, I read the stories of the Multiverse.  There were a few nights when I didn’t get any sleep at all.  My favorite of the series?  Nuclear Winter.

Now–as I think about why that story is my favorite of them all–I recall the way that EricIzMine made me feel the Eric in this version of the story.  In it, Pam has been killed and Eric is living a life that is full of mourning; in other words, it is a life without life.  Enter Sookie and her children.  Eric bonds with Sookie just for the chance of seeing Pam.  I remember my heart being tugged relentlessly because of the story’s premise.

Nuclear Winter is still “in progress,” but–as with all of the MV stories–I never minded the fact that EIM would move on to something else–pulled somewhere new as if she were “skipping.”  And–even though she’s gone and the story will stay as it is–I still don’t mind.  She let us delve in and out of the versions–as if we were in the braid with her.  She made us a part of it.  She gave us the tools to imagine what could come next.

[So–you see, Angela, you pulled us into your writing with you.  What a gift!  You made us imagine.  You gave us possibility.  What a priceless gift!]

The thing that struck me most about Nuclear Winter didn’t strike me until a couple of days after I was done reading it.  (I’d already moved on to Death’s Door by then, so I had to backtrack.)  Anyway, I realized that Eric had never actually been reunited with Pam in Nuclear Winter, yet he learned to go on.  He learned to seize a new version of life.  In other words, he decided to live.

I’ve been thinking about–and re-reading–this story since I heard about Angela’s passing.  I just re-finished it.  I found that I was smiling at the point where the story left off.  It ended at a point when EIM’s beloved Eric and Sookie have just discovered that their legacy is extending beyond their children.  It ended–quite literally–with a discussion of Hope.

This realization–I’m not ashamed to admit–left me in tears, and I am still in them as I write this.

[So–you see, Angela, you moved me.  And you move me still.]

So if you haven’t yet read the work of the wonderfully gifted–the wonderful gift–EricIzMine, I encourage you to.  If you’ve already read it, read it again.

After 9-11, I heard a quote from Queen Elizabeth (though I’m not sure who wrote it).  It goes like this: “Grief is the price we pay for love.”  Those words stuck with me.  They stick with me now.

Angela, I gladly pay the price of grief because you have left me with so much to love.

I will remember you.


If you want to donate to Angela’s family, go here.

To read the amazing stories of EricIzMine, go here.

Feel free to share your favorites of EIM in the comments.  I think she’d like that.

5 thoughts on “In Memoriam: Ericizmine

  1. This was a beautiful tribute Kat. Thank you for saying what so many of us were feeling, but couldn’t find the words for. It breaks my heart to realize that I’ll never read another beautiful word by her, but I will continue to relish all the wonderful stories that she shared with us before she died too soon.

  2. I finally was able to read this. I haven’t been able to pick up any of her stories yet – so this was a baby step. You captured her and her work beautifully and have me quite choked up. I don’t know why I could read it today and not yesterday or a while ago when I first saw it – but I could and I’m glad.
    Thank YOU for writing and enriching our lives and thank you for your tribute to a wonderful person who shared so much with us.

  3. 24 thoughts on “In Memoriam: EricIzMine”

    valady1 says:
    November 14, 2013 at 7:48 pm
    A beautiful tribute for a wonderfully talented woman. She touched everyone who read one of her stories. My heart aches for her loved ones.

    sweetmg says:
    November 14, 2013 at 7:52 pm
    I am still stunned from hearing this awful news earlier today, and so very sad for Angela’s family.
    She had an incredible imagination and wrote some really amazing stories (and some clever badass Sookies!!)
    Hearts are heavy all around the world tonight 😦
    Rest in peace, dear Angela XO

    jljph0enix says:
    November 14, 2013 at 7:58 pm
    Dang it… that was a wonderful statement CaliKat.. made me start crying again and I’d only just managed to stop for a couple of hours.*sniffs* Well said. I haven’t been able to think of her with out getting beyond choked up. Nuclear Winter and In The Dark were my faves.. I think I’m going to read Saints and Sinners (I *was* saving it for this Christmas holiday..) for the first time this weekend, when I don’t have to worry about getting up for work the next morning or the headache the tears I’m likely to shed will give me. She was so great and your homage to her was wonderful thank you.
    californiakat1564 says:
    November 14, 2013 at 8:13 pm
    You’re gonna love S&S! It’s got humor and it’s got suspense. Then you will enjoy the Alcide POV (Alcide in Wonderland) after that–I bet.
    I too liked In the Dark. I recall that scene when Eric flew the kids to the top of a nearby building so that they wouldn’t have to “hear” Sam and Sookie fight. It is moments like that which struck me so much.

    jljph0enix says:
    November 14, 2013 at 8:45 pm
    Lookin forward to them even more now! Thanks!
    One of the things I loved about her writing… I’d be reading one of the Verses at like 4 am and I’d have to slap my hands over my mouth to cut off a burst of laughter because something Eric said or thought or someone else said would just CRACK.ME.THE.HELL.UP. Seriously I’d have to brace myself not to slide out of my chair while my abdomen cramped from laughter and tears rolled down my eyes.
    *sigh* I’d never met her in person but I’m sick at the thought of waking up to a world with out her and just heartsick that her precious babies are with out her light in their lives even more so.
    And yea..when Eric thundered out of Fangtasia to Sookie and the children’s aid ESPECIALLY when he settled them on the rooftop so he could ‘hear’ Sookie and Sam yet the children couldn’t was just such a big “Awwwwwwwww” moment.
    I chuckled during the introductions at Holiday House with Ashley and Brandon and co and all that drama. Of course I giggled when Skip-Eric couldn’t find the children….
    Honestly when I first started reading Nuclear Winter for the first time my first thoughts/impressions of that Verse Eric was, “What an asshole.” Hell I can’t even remember when I started adoring that particular Eric right along with the rest.. probably about the time he started as you say,”living” and appreciating his Sookie and all she did for him. I also adored Richard and Edward’s relationship with the girls.. and oh.. those girls..!! Anyways..somewhere along the way….that became my fave Verse followed damn closely by In The Dark.
    Okay I gotta stop for now.. can’t see to type atm..
    californiakat1564 says:
    November 14, 2013 at 8:59 pm
    There was always one guarantee to make me laugh: Gawain! Just thinking about it now makes me chortle. What a wonderful character she created (adapted) for us! I had moments in the middle of the night–with only a glass of wine as companion–when I just couldn’t keep in my laughter—-or my tears.

    meridiean says:
    November 14, 2013 at 8:03 pm
    Beautifully said, my friend. ♥

    gyllene says:
    November 14, 2013 at 8:07 pm
    That was a wonderful tribute to EIM. I plan on rereading all of her stories starting with S&S which was my first story I ever read of hers. I had just finished rereading ITD when I found out she had passed. I don’t know how many times I’ve read her stories over and over. She has touched so many people with her writing and inspired us to read, write and learn.
    californiakat1564 says:
    November 14, 2013 at 8:10 pm
    Ah–yes–In the Dark is great! I got a satisfaction when Sam turned out so bad in this one. I tend to “like” Sam—-or I try. But in this version, it was nice to bash him a bit. Thanks for reminding me of that one!

    trish1215 says:
    November 14, 2013 at 8:17 pm
    I am so sad to hear that we have lost EricIzMine. Her writing left my head spinning and in awe of her wit, humor and cunning. She was truly one of the best writers in the “Eric and Sookie” fandom. She took everything to the next level, no matter if it was an AH story like Saints and Sinners or if it was Supernatural like Bored to Death and the multiverse. SVM/ True Blood fan fictioniados have lost one if the greats. May God bless her family as they cope with her loss.

    ericluver says:
    November 14, 2013 at 8:20 pm
    Just lovely.
    I’ll miss her so much. I’ve read and re-read all her stories and like you, Nuclear Winter is my favourite (followed by In The Dark and Breathless) ❤
    I get so sad thinking I’ll never wake up to a new chapter again. I re-read Breathless just yesterday and reached a part in the story where, in past re-reads, I’d think “I wonder if she’ll turn that into another verse” and I suddenly realised there would never be another verse, another chapter, another stupid, silly chat on FB…and I got upset all over again. I don’t think any of her “brats” or her other fans will get over this quickly and my heart goes out to her family, especially her children. She was an extraordinary woman.
    A quote from NW – “I don’t want her to hear she took me with her when she died. I want her to hear I kept part of her alive” Her stories will continue to inspire and entertain for a long time to come. Her memory will live on.
    californiakat1564 says:
    November 14, 2013 at 8:34 pm
    Thanks so much for reminding me of that wonderful–and completely–appropriate quote. On the one hand, I think about the positive. Angela has her family to keep her alive. She has her words to live on too.
    On the other, I am selfish; I want her back. I–too–love Breathless. I want MORE. I want so much MORE. Maybe that’s her greatest legacy though. We want more. And she continues to inspire that impulse in us.
    I was teaching the play “Our Town” today. It struck me that the play captures moments of life–ordinary life. My students thought it was boring. I laughed at their response and agreed. Yes–ordinary life can be boring, but even the most boring of us all have the impulse to be remembered. And they DESERVE to be remembered. When I was talking about the play, I was thinking about EricIzMine. She was anything but “boring,” but she was “just” a woman, living her life. She was brave enough to share her work with us. She was brave enough to bring children into the world. I just hope that 100 years from now someone is teaching a college class related to fanfiction (you know it’ll happen). She’ll live on then too.

    theladykt says:
    November 14, 2013 at 8:47 pm
    Wonderful Post hun.

    elliebaby says:
    November 14, 2013 at 9:03 pm
    beautifully said …i think you speak for all of us…. i am also rereading her works …she was just so brilliant…thanks EIM and CK.

    sheetse says:
    November 14, 2013 at 9:35 pm
    She touched so many lives. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about Angela.

    ficlit78 says:
    November 14, 2013 at 11:41 pm
    I never spoke to Angela in the fandom. And selfishly, I never even reviewed a single chapter of her prolific multiverse. But I read them all. I re-read them all. And I loved them. I was saddened to hear they’ll never be finished. But I guess, in a way, that was always the point. Alternate realities are infinite, and people’s lives go far beyond what any one story can hold. The stories COULD never finish. Angela carved a small peephole into their wonder and let us look. I never even blinked, I was so engrossed.
    From a lurker. And a fan. I say thank you. May you skip anywhere you like now.
    californiakat1564 says:
    November 15, 2013 at 5:56 am
    Well said.

    jljph0enix says:
    November 15, 2013 at 6:47 am
    Damnit I have to stop reading these at work. I cry every damn time and no one around here understands my (our) pain..
    ficlit78 that was indeed very well said!! I know what you mean, I’m kicking myself for lurking for SO LONG before getting an account so I could get updates and then eventually work my way up to reviewing..I wish I’d joined the BratPack ssssssoooooooooo much sooner. I regret my lurking ways. Your, “May you skip anywhere you like now.” slayed me in its poignancy..

    missingjasamalways says:
    November 15, 2013 at 2:04 am
    My heart breaks for her children. I hope that they have many around them that will lift them with memories of the wonderful woman their mother has been. A truly bright light has been extinguished 😦

    Karen says:
    November 15, 2013 at 2:57 am
    A beautiful tribute. Angela’s writing is probably what sucked me into this wonderful world of fanfiction, and I’m so glad it did! Saints & Sinners is the only fanfic that I have on my Kindle – it’s my “go to” if nothing else seems like a good read at the time. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to read it again, without being sad for our loss. While it is a great loss for those of us who read her work, my heart breaks for her children. I know she infused her spirit into each of them and I hope they are able to achieve the great things that Ang would have dreamed for them.

    jbnorthman says:
    November 15, 2013 at 3:06 am
    She was a wonderful author and a very funny lady. I wish I had gotten the chance to know her better but what little I do know makes my heart ache for her family.

    kleannhouse says:
    November 15, 2013 at 7:10 am
    Thank you Kat, that was perfect … Kristie

    Tara Cunnings says:
    November 15, 2013 at 8:06 am
    Well spoken. She truly was a marvelous and gifted women.

    Lexi says:
    November 17, 2013 at 11:12 pm
    It’s funny to feel the loss of a person I barely knew. I’m new to this fandom, and only discovered the Multiverse last week, and have been gobbling it up ever since. It’s sad to realize some of the fics you’re enjoying may never be finished, but your words (and those of your commenters) really helped: alternate universes don’t end, and I think that realization is helping me cope with this unusual grief for someone I just met, so to speak. Anyway, the fact that fandom is reaching out to her family is one of the reasons why I love fandom. So thanks Angela for your multiple universes. Thanks Kat for the realization that the Multiverse continues even in its unfinished state. And thanks everyone who has expressed their grief, for reminding me of how amazing people can be, even when we only know them as clever usernames.

  4. Ericizmine is my favorite fanfic site. I still go back and re-read it all over again at least once a year. I have downloaded it just in case it ever disappears. She was such a brilliant writer. She is how I found you. I pray for her family. I also pray for us . Her Eric and sookie family. We truly lost a sister. Thank you for doing this and for making sure Eric and Sookie end up together as they always should be.😘😘😘

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