(Story follows Season 7, episode 4) Sookie knew from Eric’s eyes that he was telling her goodbye, but she’d had enough goodbyes in her life, and she wasn’t about to say goodbye to Eric Northman again-not when she might be able to help him. The only question was, “Would Eric fight for his life too?” (Note: this story ignores Season 7, Episode 5 and beyond.)
The wonderful Sephrenia has created a beautiful title banner for this story. Thanks Seph!
“The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.”—Isak Dinesen
“Wait!” Sookie yelled before Pam could disappear into the tunnel under Fangtasia. Sookie had used her telepathy to find Pam’s “void” after Jason and most of the others had left to take Arlene home. Only Bill, Eric, and Willa remained in the club above them.
Pam turned toward Sookie and snarled. “Wait for what, Tinker Bell?”
“I need to ask you something,” the fairy-human hybrid said as she approached the vampiress.
“I’m busy,” Pam said impatiently. “I need to make sure the coffins Eric and I had hidden here are still intact.”
“I need to talk to you,” Sookie said more insistently than before.
“What the fuck do you want? To try to captivate me with your magic fairy vagina as well?” Pam snarked. “Forgive me—but I wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot dildo,” she added wryly.
Sookie ignored Pam’s vulgar remark. “I want you to tell me that he has a plan—that you two have a plan for gettin’ him well,” she added almost desperately.
Pam put her hands on her hips. “Why do you care?”
“You might not believe this, but I do love him.”
“Save the bleeding-heart bullshit, fairy princess. You’ve yanked his chain one too many times for me to believe you give a damn about Eric. All you care about is having a harem of men vying for your attention at all times. What is it?” Pam taunted. “Now that Wolverine is dead, you need another man in the picture to fill your quota of suitors?”
A hard slap echoed across the Fangtasia basement.
“I should drain you for that,” Pam said with a smirk, even as Sookie cradled her probably-broken hand. “But I have to hand it to you,” Pam punned, “you did put all your strength into that hit—not that it hurt me.”
Still high on adrenaline, Sookie ignored her pain. “I don’t give a damn whether you believe me or not, Pam. What I do care about is the fact that Eric is dying.”
Pam’s eyes narrowed, and she tilted her head to the side a little. “If you cared about Eric so much, why did you break his heart?” She shook her head. “I hate it, but I felt his love for you—before Eric released me. It was like a fucking freight train through our bond. When he was cursed by the witch, I just tried to ignore it—to tell myself that it would go away once he was himself again. But—if anything—it grew stronger after he got his memories back.” The vampiress shook her head with distaste. “He was willin’ to die for you outside of that witch’s shop. He was on his fuckin’ knees waitin’ for Bill fuckin’ Compton to pull the trigger—for you! But you just threw that all away! And I don’t even want to tell you how I found him two nights ago! But at least I had hope that he’d gotten over your sorry ass! But when he saw you tonight,” she sneered, “I could tell that you still had him firmly caught up in your snatch snare.”
Pam growled at Sookie when the telepath tried to speak. “I’m not finished!” the vampiress yelled. “I almost lost Eric one other time too—when he thought he was in love with a human. He fawned over her like a schoolboy with a fuckin’ crush. Goddamned Sylvie! Now—I’m not gonna lie and say that she wasn’t a looker, but I’m pretty sure that Eric was just bored and talked himself into the idea that ‘fallin’ in love would be fun.'” She rolled her eyes.
“What are you talkin’ about?” Sookie asked.
Pam let out a longsuffering sigh. “Vampires like change. It keeps things,” she paused, “interesting—you see. Whether it’s blood bags, professions, hairstyles, or clothing trends,” she grinned, showing a little fang, “we like variety as a rule. Eric got tired of feeding from and fucking random women. He decided that he wanted to settle down—to put down roots or some sort of shit like that. Sylvie—he met in the 80’s, when hair was big and shoulder pads were bigger.” Again she rolled her eyes. “Thank God—those fashion trends didn’t last long.”
“What does any of this have to do with anything?” Sookie asked with frustration.
“I’ll tell you if you keep your fairy trap shut.”
Sookie rolled her own eyes and motioned for Pam to go on.
“Eric was inconsolable for a fuckin’ decade after Sylvie was killed. He blamed himself for her death—you see? He wanted to love her. He wanted someone to love him—not for who or what he was, but despite those things. So he told her all about his being a vampire, and we got into deep shit because of it. And it came down to his making a choice—her life or mine. He chose me.”
“Oh my God!” Sookie exclaimed.
Pam shook her head. “You may be aware that some vampires can feel their makers’ emotions. I had that ability—at least until Eric released me. So I know something about Sylvie and Eric. He didn’t love her—not really. He loved the idea of a human accepting him and not being afraid of the fact that he was a vampire. He loved that he could be honest with her. To Eric, being with the same woman night after night was a welcome change to what he’d had before, and he enjoyed her devotion. I have no doubt that he would have stayed with her for a long time if he’d been allowed to do so.”
“I’m sorry for him, but I still don’t see what this has to do with what’s goin’ on now,” Sookie said.
“Well—then you really are fucking clueless!” Pam said. “The truth is, fairy princess, that he was decimated emotionally after Godric met the sun. And he was just as devastated when his bitch of a sister died from Hep-V—because he blamed himself for her death. But only one thing I know of has ever broken his heart, and that’s you.” The vampiress shook her head. “No wonder he behaved so fuckin’ recklessly that he got Hep-V! He barely made it past losing Sylvie, and he only thought he loved her. But you—with your fairy vagina and your wishy-washy ways—destroyed the vampire he was! Sylvie was a phase; you’re the fuckin’ plague!”
“You’re blamin’ me for Eric having Hep-V?” Sookie asked incredulously.
“Would Eric have it if you hadn’t rejected him?” Pam challenged. “No—he could have fed safely from you.”
“I’m not a fairy fountain for every vampire in this state!” Sookie yelled out.
“Then why do I smell your blood in Bill—and his blood in you?” Pam asked with derision. “And don’t try to tell me it’s left over from before. That dog won’t hunt. It’s fresh blood.”
Sookie ignored Pam’s odd use of slang. “I only fed Bill because he needed to be as strong as possible for tonight.”
“And you took his blood—why? For your health?” Pam snarked.
“No!” Sookie grimaced. “I had an idea to draw out the Hep-V vamps, and I wanted Bill to be able to track me.”
“Well—judging by the look on your face—that idea didn’t go too well. What? Is that how you lost your dog?” Pam grinned evilly.
Another loud hit echoed through the basement, and Pam was glad that the room was soundproof. Otherwise, the cracking of bones in Sookie’s hand would have been heard.
“Fuck!” Sookie exclaimed as she once again cradled her hand against her body.
“No thanks,” Pam deadpanned, “I’d hate to get stuck in the Bermuda triangle of vaginas.”
Sookie shook her head and tried to ignore the pain in her hand so that Bill wouldn’t interrupt her conversation with Pam.
“I didn’t come down here to fight with you, Pam,” Sookie said wearily. “I just wanted to know what he plans to do to fight the Hep-V. Is he lookin’ for a cure?”
Pam sighed, a very human sound coming from her. “There’s no cure, Sookie. And—frankly—there’s not much fight left in him.”
“Maybe I could help?” Sookie asked, even as she wiped a tear away with her uninjured hand.
Pam sighed again. “I don’t know. I hate to admit it, but Eric had more fight in him tonight than I’ve seen in him for a while, and I know that’s because of you. But now he’s even more tired than he was before.”
“How long does he have?” Sookie asked.
“He’s still in what’s called Stage 1 of the disease, which is why he’s in more control than the rabid beasts we saw tonight, who were in Stage 3—the final stage.” Pam shook her head and pushed away a tear of her own. “Eric’s old and strong, and that means the disease will progress more slowly in him, but he’s been infected for a month.”
“What does that mean?”
“No vampire has made it longer than two months with the disease,” Pam said quietly.
Her knees shaking, Sookie sank to the ground.
“I called Ludwig as soon as I learned that Eric had Hep-V,” Pam informed tiredly. “She’s the best Supe doctor there is, and she’s had access to the vamp camp’s doctors’ records since the first outbreak. But there’s no fuckin’ cure,” Pam added as she pushed another red tear from her eye before it could even think about falling.
Sookie closed her eyes and let her own tears fall freely.
“I wasn’t exaggerating before. When I found Eric in France—in the old monastery he bought when he was seeing Sylvie,” Pam said, “he was wallowing. He’d given up completely. The only way I could get him to his feet was to promise him revenge on Sarah Newlin, whom your brother let live—by the way.”
“But then why are you here? Why come to Louisiana? Sarah’s not anywhere around here.”
Pam rolled her eyes. “You really are clueless, aren’t you?” She scoffed. “You give blondes a bad name. Eric claimed we came here to collect Willa, but it’s not like he called her as soon as we landed in Shreveport. Hell—we wouldn’t have even needed to get off the fuckin’ plane to collect Willa. No—instead we made a jaunt to Bon Temps. Now why do you suppose that was?”
Sookie shook her head in denial.
Pam continued relentlessly. “There’s only one person he wanted to make sure was okay in this godforsaken country, and that’s you. Oh—he cares about Willa to a certain extent, but he didn’t turn her out of love or even affection. No! Even though you played ‘house’ with the Were in the home Eric rebuilt for you with his own two hands, he still—inex-fucking-plicably—loves you. Even though you gave Bill Compton your blood—again—Eric still thinks of you before anyone else, including himself.”
“That’s impossible,” Sookie said.
“You’re impossible—an impossible fuckin’ cunt, Sookie Stackhouse!” Pam said angrily. “I wish you had never walked into Fangtasia!”
“Why do you hate me so damned much?” Sookie asked through gritted teeth.
“Because—I know that if Eric was given the choice between you and me, he wouldn’t choose me! He’d choose you! And that’s the fuckin’ difference between you and Sylvie, whom I hated but could live with because he would have ultimately tired of her! But you—you’re different. He loves you more than he’s ever loved anything, and maybe I could accept that if you were worthy of him. But you’re not! He offered you the world, and you broke his heart!”
Sookie closed her eyes tightly. “I was afraid, Pam.” She sighed deeply and wiped away more tears. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe that fear makes me unworthy of Eric, but I’ve always been afraid of him.”
“He would never fuckin’ hurt you!” Pam yelled out with frustration.
“If I really let myself be with him, he could destroy me,” Sookie whispered. She continued almost apologetically. “Don’t you think I realize how wonderful Eric is? Don’t you think I know what it means that he bought my house and repaired it? Don’t you think I understand how much he loves me? Part of me always knew that—even when he was actin’ like a jackass.”
“Then why reject him?” Pam asked.
“What happens when he gets tired of me? You said it yourself; vampires like change.”
“Why weren’t you ever scared that Compton would tire of you?” Pam challenged.
“I was scared of that,” Sookie admitted. “I always was, but I also knew that I’d get through it if Bill did ever leave me. I don’t know if I could go on if Eric did the same.”
“So you threw Eric away because you were afraid of some unknown moment in the future when Eric might discard you?” Pam asked incredulously. “You threw away a thousand-year-old vampire willing to do anything for you and shacked up with a Were, who once took back a woman who’d tried to kill you?”
“I’m not proud of what I did to Eric, but—yes—you’re right,” Sookie acknowledged. “Alcide was safe. And—even though I felt guilty about it—a part of me felt even safer because I could tell that Alcide loved me more than I loved him. So I knew that he wouldn’t be leavin’ me,” she added quietly.
“But you’re afraid to love Eric more than he loves you?” Pam asked disbelievingly.
“Yeah. I was afraid he’d grow tired of me.”
“You’re a fuckin’ fool,” Pam sneered. “You never gave him a chance after the witch’s curse was lifted.”
“I know,” Sookie sighed, leaning against the wall.
“You know—you did to Eric exactly what you were afraid he’d do to you,” Pam commented. “You hurt him worse than anyone else could. That’s why I have to hate you.” The vampiress sat down next to Sookie, though she made sure she picked a clean spot.
Sookie looked at Pam through narrowed eyes. “I guess I can’t blame you for that.”
Pam gestured toward Sookie’s hand. “You want blood to heal that?”
Sookie sighed. “Thanks, but no. Wait—yes!”
“Well, which is it, princess?” Pam asked. “You want it or not?”
“Will you get Eric for me?” Sookie asked.
Pam tilted her head and regarded Sookie quizzically. “Why?”
“Because,” Sookie said with resolve, “I only ever want one vampire’s blood to heal, and it’s not yours.”
Pam smirked and stood up. “I’ve see that look from you before. You have a plan.”
Sookie shrugged. “I don’t know if it’ll work, but yes.”
“I really do hate your fuckin’ guts, Sookie Stackhouse,” Pam said, her hands moving to her hips. “But if whatever harebrained idea you have rolling through your head actually works, I’ll start a fan club in your honor.”
Sookie looked up at the vampiress. “Promise me—if my plan doesn’t work—you will look for a cure for him?”
Pam nodded. “I will try.” She sighed. “Will you promise me something in return?”
Sookie took a deep breath and nodded in affirmation.
“Will you do it? If things get so bad that he’s . . . .” Her voice trailed off. “That there’s no hope? Will you stake him?” Pam shook her head. “I don’t know if I could, and he . . . .” She paused for a moment. “He wouldn’t want to become like those others.”
Sookie nodded. “I promise. I won’t let him die like that. And I won’t let him die alone,” Sookie whispered.
I was inspired to write this story by two things: 1.) the wonderful Eric/Sookie scenes in Season 7, Episode 04; and 2.) the fact that I refuse to accept the “goodbye” look between Eric and Sookie at the end of that episode. Despite the way the show’s creators often painted Sookie, I still like to think of her as spunky and—ultimately—smart (though sometimes she’s a little dense). I don’t think she’d accept that Eric was going to die without trying to help him. That’s just not who Sookie is to me. Remember that this story picks up right after 7.04, so there’s no Bon Temps party, Bill Hep-V, etc.
Thanks for reading! If you have time, let me know what you think!