Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters in True Blood or the Southern Vampire Mysteries. So neither copyright infringement nor offense is meant. I simply want to make the characters do what I wanted them to do for a while. I am especially “unownerly” when it comes to this story. You will recognize a lot of the dialogue throughout as being quoted from Season 5 of True Blood, though I’ve tried to use Eric’s thoughts to make this story “different” from its source. That said, I claim no ownership to the quoted material and have placed it in bold so that it is set apart from my own words.
What do you call nine vampires hopped up on Lilith blood and twenty-five human corpses in the middle of a karaoke bar?
Being the soberest one in the room, I was the first one to hear the sirens.
Who knew if the policemen were coming for us? It didn’t matter either. Whether someone had called the authorities about our transgressions or not, the situation needed to be covered up.
“Why?” Salome asked dreamily. “Lilith has shown herself here. In this sacred place.”
“The human authorities are coming!” I said even as I tried to wipe some of the blood off of my chin.
“What the fuck do we care about humans?” Russell asked as he finished draining the person in his grip.
“Yummy! More food!” Rosalyn gushed. “These are all dead,” she added, shoving the corpse in her arms to the floor.
“Delivery!” Kibwe chuckled.
“Nora!” I yelled, even as she continued to look—as if in a trance—toward the place where Lilith had been.
“She’s gone,” Nora said as if heartbroken.
I sighed with relief. At least that was a small favor.
“She must be leading us somewhere else—back to the Authority. To be in the presence of her blood,” I yelled out, as I went behind the bar and got several bottles of booze. At vampire speed, I quickly doused the bar and the corpses with the liquid, knowing that the alcohol would burn quickly once lit.
“What are you doing?” Bill asked, unsteady on his feet.
“Lilith wants a bonfire in her honor,” I said, figuring that the others would go along if I suggested that I was following some kind of “divine” directive.
“Yes!” Salome said in exultation. “And her blood will burn away all the defects of humanity,” she quoted.
“Exactly!” I enthused, even as I began to herd the others to the back door of the bar. The door was locked, but it was easy enough to break through. I was trailing alcohol behind me and quickly lit a book of matches. It was a messy clean-up, to be sure, but hopefully I’d drenched the bodies with enough alcohol to ensure that the bite marks wouldn’t be seen by the humans who investigated the arson.
Luckily, the other vampires seemed content to leave the area quickly. Unluckily, they didn’t seem to be in too much of a hurry to get back to the Authority. Instead, they were hell-bent on collecting cheap Mardi Gras beads.
Even more unlucky? My sobriety seemed to be short-lived now that my bonded wasn’t shooting our bond with electrical shocks every few seconds. I had to concentrate very hard to keep us moving back toward the Authority. And I had to stop myself several times from offering to show my body for beads as the others were doing.
It was difficult, but I refrained.
Thankfully, I was able to retain a little dignity—though I found myself to be stumbling again.
Somehow we all managed to make it back to the Authority without being picked up by the human authorities and without creating a blood bath on the streets of the city. The humans likely just thought that we were “regular” blood-crazed vampires, as opposed to “Lilith-laced” blood-crazed vampires. Most didn’t even run from us—despite our blood-stained chins.
Likely they thought that we were putting on an Anne Rice-inspired street performance of some kind.
Traveling minstrels singing “You Light Up My Life.”
I couldn’t help but to be a little relieved as the elevator doors opened. Everyone else was still partying. However, the annoying noise of Mardi Gras beads bouncing up and down as the others jumped up and down helped me to concentrate of my own thoughts and mind.
And then I got more bolts of energy from Sookie, which did more to sober me than anything else had.
And—as before—I took hold of that figurative red quilt I found in my bond with Sookie. It covered me. It warmed me. It protected me from drowning once again in Lilith’s blood.
As I double-checked to make sure that I was free of beads, I noticed that only Bill and I had escaped being covered in them, though Bill certainly seemed fascinated by Salome’s baubles—as well as the vampiress herself.
Rosalyn had poured a carafe of blood over her hands and was smearing that blood onto the ancient text carved into the wall, even as she babbled incoherently. It was clear that she didn’t know Aramaic, the language written on the wall. However, she seemed pleased with the one that she was making up on the fly.
As I walked further into the room, I noticed that Nigel had spit on the painting of Roman. Classy.
“What the hell just happened?” I asked, still feeling a little wobbly on my own feet.
“We saw her,” Bill said ecstatically. “She appeared to us. We saw Lilith!”
“Yeah, I saw something,” I intoned. And—god or not—I wished that I could un-see that too.
“We were high as fucking kites,” I challenged. Fairy-laced V? Actual god blood? Who fucking knew? I did know, however, that my control had been taken from me. And I didn’t fucking like that one bit!
I stayed back against the wall—wishing I’d thought about just taking off from the karaoke bar. I should have just let the others get hauled in by the human authorities! Then again, I didn’t want to have to live through the fall-out of such an event. Moreover, I couldn’t leave my sister behind. Or Bill.
“Goddammit, Godric,” I muttered to myself as I watched Newlin and Russell dry hump each other. Rosalyn was still speaking her made-up language, and Nigel and Kibwe were dancing a tango. Meanwhile, Bill was the meat in a Salome-Nora sandwich.
At least their clothes were still on. I guess I should have thanked Lilith for small fucking favors!
But I didn’t.
After all, some things just couldn’t be unseen.
It took the others a while to sober up to the point of functionality. I felt like I was watching a bunch of stoners discussing a “jam session,” rather than some of the oldest and most respected vampires in the world.
Oh—how the mighty fall. I’d experienced that falling too, however.
“We witnessed a miracle tonight,” Salome said. She and Nora were draped over each other.
“We saw God . . . and She smiled upon us,” Nora said dreamily.
“Unbelievable. I mean, I have never . . . ,” Russell started before becoming at a loss for words. For him, that took a lot. He was pacing as if trying to understand what had happened. Though I was standing still—though leaning against the couch to stop myself from wobbling—I was doing the same thing.
“The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in 500 years,” Kibwe said, his voice awe-filled.
I’d seen a better pair. But I did have to admit that Lilith’s were lovely.
“Now, I have never been called devout, but watching Lilith shoot out of a blood pool while I sucked down a bride to the dulcet strains of ‘You Light up My Life,’ well, praise Lilith! Praise Jesus! Praise Moses’s cock! I am born again!” Russell exclaimed.
More like—praise hallucinogens.
“Amen. Me too,” Steve said devoutly. Of course, he always sounded like that.
“For the first time in a decade, I ate a child,” Nigel said with a sick smile. “I took his life inside of me, and it was ripe.”
Bill and I both looked at the child-eater. I couldn’t tell if Bill was woozy or disgusted at Nigel’s words. As for me? I was disgusted—at myself most of all. Through the haze of my memory, I could see that child. And I’d done nothing to help him.
Another thing I couldn’t un-see.
Salome seemed to approve of Nigel’s sentiment. “Yes,” she said.
“This was a sign,” Nora piped in.
I sighed. Cue crazy religious babble.
“Roman’s death has been sanctioned by God and we’re on the correct path,” Nora added.
“Yes,” Salome agreed. “And now we can move forward with a clear conscience.”
As if they wouldn’t have done so otherwise.
“But we have a lot of work to do, and we will need food,” Salome continued. “So, Steve, please have the guards procure a few dozen humans before daybreak. Just put them in the holding cells.”
Yeah—I’m sure she told him that directly.
“And a baby for Nigel,” Salome told Steve even as Nigel put his hands together in appreciation and anticipation.
Steve didn’t miss a beat. “Coming right up!”
Rosalyn chortled as Salome blew a kiss toward Nigel. Yep—that was my limit.
“I think I’ve had enough fun for one night,” I said somewhat cautiously.
Everyone looked at me as if I’d grown two heads as I asked Bill if he was coming with me.
I sighed, leaving the room to the disappointed look of Nora.
She wasn’t the only one who was disappointed.
I was disappointed! And I vowed that I would never lose control over myself again.
Even as I walked out of the room, I heard Salome make a call to security. Unsurprisingly, I was met by two storm troopers even before I could get to the elevator.
“Mr. Northman,” the receptionist said.
“Chelsea,” I responded, having heard her name a few times.
“Salome has asked that you be escorted to your new quarters,” she said.
“Sounds good,” I returned evenly.
I was taken to a small bedroom with an ensuite bathroom. It was the very definition of basic, and the bed was obviously too short, but I was in no position to complain. I didn’t bother turning on the light. I didn’t bother trying to leave the room after my escorts left the area either. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get away until Salome allowed it. And—even if I did get away—I figured that I’d be off of Russell’s “friends” list soon after.
In a perfect world, the partnership between Salome and Russell would degrade quickly. In an even more perfect world, the two of them would kill each other off.
But it—most definitely—wasn’t a perfect world.
I sighed and tapped into my bond with Sookie. She was weary, probably because she’d been exerting herself—using her power. I wished that I could send her strength, but I couldn’t do anything except wish that she would find it within herself.
I had the same wish for myself as well.
A/N: One of the questions I had during this time of Season 5 was-“Why hadn’t the human authorities caught the vampires in the karaoke bar? And-even if they’d escaped-why did we never hear about this (we later hear about the fraternity Steve and Russell decimate). I was hoping to add a transition that helped to explain what the vampires did as they went from the karaoke bar back to the Authority. Hope you like!