Rant: Things that a thousand-year-old vampire wouldn’t do…

Things that a thousand-year old vampire wouldn’t do….

Okay—so let me begin by making clear that Eric Northman is currently my favorite character in both television and books; however, after watching the show, I often wonder how he’s still alive!  I’m glad he is, and I don’t blame Eric for the dumb-fuckery.  No—I blame the “creators” of the story that just don’t think it all through.

Sometimes, these little things just make me scratch my head and mutter, “WTF?”  Do you feel the same?

These are just 2 of the things that make me go, HUH?  Feel free to comment or add to these if you want.

  1. Would Eric really leave alive a 3000 year old enemy?  Really?  Why wouldn’t Eric think that Russell had “children” that he could summon to save him?  What?  He didn’t make any in 3000 years?  (Dumb, Eric.  Really dumb.)  How did Eric get out of the cement?  Pam.  (Duh, Eric.  Don’t you think Russell could do that too?)  We could expect a bit of short-sightedness from Bill, but you, Eric?  Chances of this getting a thousand year old vampire killed?  98%
  2. Okay—even if Eric’s plan to put Russell in the cement wasn’t idiocy, why—oh why—wouldn’t he have surveillance of the burial site?  Or guards?  And I don’t mean Alcide’s dim employee either (was his name Nate?).  Anyway – this is NOT something a thousand-year-old vampire would do.  Chances of this getting a thousand year old vampire killed?  90%

Again, these are just some of my current WTF issues about Eric’s behavior.  I have others, but I’m interested to see if you all have anything to add.

C Kat

One thought on “Rant: Things that a thousand-year-old vampire wouldn’t do…

  1. 24 thoughts on “Rant: Things that a thousand-year old vampire wouldn’t do….”
    COMMENTS ARCHIVED FROM ORIGINAL BLOG POST.

    Heather Noble (@KissinCullens) says:
    July 17, 2012 at 8:01 am Edit
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    There are a lot of WTF moments in TB. In Season 2 for example; Why did Eric not just pick up Sookie, and fly them both out of the FOTS Church? Why walk at a Human pace through the Sanctuary? Or even run Vamp-speed. MADE NO SENSE.

    For that matter. Why didn’t the Dallas Vamps send someone into the Church to do a search, under cover of night. Or even day. Vamps are Stealthy. And Were’s aren’t slouches either. Why didn’t they just kidnap Steve, or his wife, and question them under glamour? In less than an hour they could know all the FOTS secrets. MADE NO SENSE.

    Why didn’t Sookie use her ‘Light’ to incapacitate Martonia? When Eric & Bill offered themselves up for double suicide to free Sookie, why didn’t she act, and zap the Bitch? When all else is lost, and the ones you love are about to die, you don’t stand there like a moron and sob. You fight with everything you’ve got! MADE NO SENSE.

    Reply
    dorismaries says:
    July 17, 2012 at 8:50 am Edit
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    You have nicely expressed why I don’t watch the show any more. TB reminds me of the worst fan fiction I have read, the characters behave in ways that make no sense. A 1000 year old vampire who is known for his strength and intellect would not behave as the TB Eric does and don’t even get me started on the Sookie of the show, she represents all the worst sides of CH’s Sookie without the redeeming qualities. I gave up watching midway through the second season and have not heard anything that would make me sit through an episode again. Instead, I read you and other talented writer’s work to get my Viking fix!

    Reply
    duckbutt says:
    July 17, 2012 at 10:29 am Edit
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    And like last season in front of the witches store… He WOULD not have so easily given up his life for Sookie. As Eric said after the NV takeover when he told Sookie about the king’s protection…a vampire becomes more selfish of his life the older he gets. AB has written Eric like a frat boy and not the warrior that attracted Godric’s attention.

    Reply
    maggie says:
    July 17, 2012 at 10:55 am Edit
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    I agree with Dorismaries. AB has made a mockery of the Viking and Sookie in TB. And has raised up Bill Compton at their expense (don’t get me started on that jerk). CH has done far worse in her latest books (they’re her creations after all and she seems to hate them now). I actually made it almost all the way through Season 4 before I had to give up. Thank you so much for your wonderful stories that not only keeps Sookie and the Viking alive, but well and whole and kicking ass.

    Reply
    valady1 says:
    July 17, 2012 at 2:21 pm Edit
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    when I picture the writers of TB, I imagine them in a big room with a dart board on the wall.. And on the dart board are different plot concepts, no requirement that they make sense, or in fact have any resemblance to the source material (SVM)… and then they throw darts, and wherever the dart lands determines what happens next…Makes as much sense as some of the things they have done…And you have to give AB credit.. he sucked in the SVM fanbase with season 1, keeping it pretty close to the first book..then has gradually (and in some cases not so gradually) taken our characters to places they would never go voluntarily. And in the process has insulted just about every adult woman in the world with his portrayal of Sookie..Lord knows she isn’t perfect in the books. She’s stubborn and refuses to trust Eric, even after he proved over and over again that he cared for her and protected her. But she had enough sense to walk away from her relationship with Bill, even if they finally became friends. In fact the only strong female characters are Adele (dead in season 1, true to the books with that one)..and Pam. Tara is a mess, so much so that just about everyone was rooting for her to die at the end of season 4….so you need to keep writing stories that give us the Eric & Sookie we want to read about..

    Reply
    Mindy says:
    July 17, 2012 at 3:48 pm Edit
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    I completely agree, I wish the writing was more logical. I think because it is written by so many different people and often separated it gets disjointed. So things TB Eric does are true to his character others are very WTF. Completely agree with all our comments.

    Reply
    californiakat1564 says:
    July 17, 2012 at 5:56 pm Edit
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    Valady1: I love your dart board analogy; it sometimes seems like that, and I too wish Sookie were stronger.

    Mindy: You would thing that professional writers would be able to keep it together, or at least not disregard where others have been before. I was thinking just this last week about how the different a vampire death in the last episode “looked” compared to the others. There’s no excuse really for a lack of unity — unless it’s explained.

    Doris & Maggie: I haven’t yet given up on book or show, but I have to “separate my emotions” from them a little. I fell in love with these characters as I marathoned through the first 6 books after watching Season 1, and I just want them to “live” up to that.

    Duckbutt: I totally agree! Eric giving up like that in front of the witch’s store has got to be one of the most idiotic things! Bill–yes. That is in character b/c he does tend to have the martyr syndrome. But Eric–No! I had to deal with that nonsense in B&F! Thank goodness for Pam and a rocket launcher!

    Heather: I agree with the Fellowship thing. When we find out that Eric can fly, it didn’t make sense when looking at it again. Sigh. And if Jessica can break “big” silver chains during the witch’s curse in S4, why can’t a thousand year old vampire break little ones? AND Eric would never just give himself up without a fight. Really!!!!

    Thanks to all of you for your comments so far!

    Reply
    Heather Noble (@KissinCullens) says:
    July 20, 2012 at 8:16 am Edit
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    Another thing i found more than a little ‘irksome’. Eric & Bill were willing to die for Sookie (and would have been the most pointless deaths, EVA), at the end of Season 4. Yet, within 24hrs, they were willing to leave her behind, never to meet again. AND, they were going to do this, knowing RE was on the loose. Basically giving Sookie a ‘F*ck you, you’re on your own’. And lets be honest. There was no way RE was going to forget about the Fairy Telepath, with a wicked streak, and tasty blood that gave Vamps short periods of time in the Sun. Along with pissing me off to the tenth degree, that their affections were so fickle… It, MADE NO SENSE.

    I get they were hurt, but come on, she’d go to bat for them. And they know it. I hate what AB has done with Trio.

    Reply
    Heather Noble (@KissinCullens) says:
    July 20, 2012 at 8:19 am Edit
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    Yes, they were running for their lives, but i don’t see Bill, or even Eric, leaving without at least warning Sookie, of what was coming for her.

    Reply
    californiakat1564 says:
    July 20, 2012 at 9:05 am Edit
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    I know. Eric was especially callous in this situation. AND he would never have just offered to die like that for Sookie. What would it have done? Just silliness.
    Kat

    Reply
    padore says:
    July 20, 2012 at 9:17 am Edit
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    I often feel like CH has allowed AB’s perception of Eric change the way she has written his character…am I the only one that has noticed that since TB aired ‘book” Eric is not the same? Both AB and CH have commented that they think Eric is a bad guy…WTH? If wanting to take care of someone’s needs and putting your neck on the line for someone makes you a bad guy….well, I guess you can sign me up! I think that since Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer have a “true life” romance the writers think it should be shown as a “true blood” romance…..even Rutina Wesley (Tara) has said that she is on “Team Bill” – me too – really, I would love a man who let the Rats beat me half to death so he can get his blood in me, take my virginity under false pretenses and operate under a plan to basically set me up in a life of servitude to Queen Sophie Anne! What a darling boy….that Eric he is such a bad guy!!! I really wish there was a sarcasm button on the keyboard….LOL

    Reply
    maggie says:
    July 20, 2012 at 11:59 am Edit
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    I don’t think you’re the only one who sees a pattern here. Ever since CH opted not to kill Bill when she had previously stated it was the plan (I think he was going to die in the Fairy War in the books, Dead and Gone), I’ve gotten this niggling feeling that she was starting to write for AB, or at least, he was influencing her portrayal of her own characters. I read all of the books up to Dead in the Family right after I viewed three seasons of True Blood in an HBO marathon (and yes, I had nothing better to do!) so I was pretty saturated by then. Dead and Gone was her first novel in the SVM series to be published after TB started (a year later). Her books have been dark since that one–they don’t have the same feeling as the previous novels. And every one since has been even darker. I won’t read DR or Deadlocked (I’ve read lots of reviews, though). Eric was more himself as an amnesiac than he appears to be in the later books. And AB? Well, I just keep reminding myself that he’s only writing his own version of fanfiction.

    Reply
    Switbo says:
    July 21, 2012 at 8:44 am Edit
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    This is why I have chosen not to read the last 2 books. I saw enough reviews and speculation on FF.net and other blogs to make me lose interest in reading them. I did not want to read CH herself defiling her own characters. Eric? A bad guy? No way.

    I’m sure he’s done some despicable things in his 1000 years, but he is NOT the villain in this story.

    Reply
    californiakat1564 says:
    July 21, 2012 at 8:55 am Edit
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    Amen. I have the books, but I can’t read them unless I know that it will turn out “right.” Sigh. I know that’s bad, but I always look at the last page before I read the first.
    😉
    Kat

    Reply
    MistressCinder says:
    July 21, 2012 at 5:16 am Edit
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    Yes TB Eric made the the classic 60s Batman blunder of leaving his enemy alive so he could come back again. : )

    Reply
    californiakat1564 says:
    July 21, 2012 at 5:32 am Edit
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    Holy Plot-holes, Batman.

    Reply
    Trajedy99 says:
    August 30, 2012 at 7:59 pm Edit
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    Do you think that was because of the disaster killing off Godric was? He turned out to be so popular and they had already killed him off, woops. Maybe they are testing the waters of each character before knocking them off permanently.
    Trudy :-K

    Reply
    Switbo says:
    July 21, 2012 at 8:42 am Edit
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    Hey Kat – I agree with everything everyone’s suggested so far. (The fact that Eric didn’t fly Sookie through the roof of the fellowship always did bug the heck out of me…)

    Here’s another from this season that absolutely drove me nuts: In ep 1, Eric HEARS Bill get taken by the Authority out front, and immediately just RUNS OUT THE FRONT DOOR after him!!! WTF?!??! That is NOT something a 1000 yr old warrior would do! I mean, come on. If I (a 40 something housewife) can think “go out the back”, “fly out an upper window”, how does AB expect us to believe that someone who has survived on his wits for a 1000 years would do something so stupid as to run right into their hands??

    And do NOT even get me started on everyone’s fickle, slutty ways this season. I mean, come one, it’s been DAYS and everybody is sleeping (or about to sleep) with someone else. Give me a break. My husband describes it best, AB has turned into a supernatural soap opera and just bases his plot lines on what will be the biggest shock instead of whether or not something actually makes sense.

    So, keep up the great work KAT: cause I rely on you (and other fab FF writers) to get it RIGHT!

    Reply
    californiakat1564 says:
    July 21, 2012 at 8:52 am Edit
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    Yeah — I tried to deal with Eric running into the silver net in “Inner” but it was so hard because it was sooooo dumb. I was like, “Eric, WTF?”

    Reply
    scorp77 says:
    July 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm Edit
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    I’m coming into the conversation late, but why the heck is Eric following BILL’S lead ALL THE TIME this season? I forgave him for going out into the net since I kind of bought Kat’s explanation in Inner but then there is so much more…

    There’s the trunk escape – – – since when has Bill been BADASS!?? Then in the prison cell he asks Bill “So, any ideas”. Granted, perhaps a tad sarcastically but STILL: WTF? (Kat you know why that line pisses me off in particular). Then later he lets BILL come out with the Russell Edgington deal to get them out of the execution the first time. Then when at the asylum he lets BILL lead the explanation of why Sookie and Alcide are there.

    I am generally relatively chill about the direction AB took/takes Eric … but I’m starting to get a bit annoyed. Eric’s not acting like he did in plotting Talbot’s murder, or even plotting to get Russell out into the sun. So I see three possible explanations:

    1. AB doesn’t know what he’s doing. Though some are of this mind, I think it’s too easy. TB Eric has always ‘hung back’ to assess the situation before rashly acting… and THAT would jive with him letting Bill take the reins on … EVERYTHING.
    2. It is a necessity in front of the authority since Bill was supposed to be Eric’s King and is still technically higher up the ladder?
    3. He really is shaken up and changed post-amnesia (post-Sookie) and this is impairing his decision making skills. This one’s a weak explanation for his passivity this season even though I think they (especially ASKARS) have done an excellent, nuanced job showing how ripped apart Eric is over losing Sookie. (I ADORED the line and the acting in episode 6 when Eric says “There have been … some humans who I have felt … protective of … in the past.” It was SO gut wrenching and then typical – and beloved – TB insensitivity when Roman says “Uh Huh.” Loved that bit!)

    OK I’ll leave it at that for now.

    Reply
    californiakat1564 says:
    July 22, 2012 at 11:49 am Edit
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    And another thing: How long does it take to stake a vampire…seriously!?! Eric had Russell dead to rights, so to speak, but he “pauses” to talk to him, and then when Alcide is attacked, he doesn’t just stake him first and then go after a Were? Umm–Eric–excuse me, you have vampire speed. Just kill Russell lightning fast and THEN go for the Were. No? You want to give him a chance to get Sookie? Okay fine. But when you have him at your mercy again, please stake him immediately…NO? You didn’t learn your lesson, and you let BILL stop you? Oh, Eric. How did you live this long?

    Reply
    jewelpearl says:
    July 22, 2012 at 11:34 am Edit
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    I agree that Eric running out into the silver net was addle-pated. A few episodes later, Sam is shot in Luna’s front yard, and she comes running out — straight toward the gunmen! — to get shot as well. The writers seem keen on this “run stupidly toward danger” scenario. The moment Luna stepped out onto the grass I thought, are you kidding me?

    Reply
    californiakat1564 says:
    July 22, 2012 at 11:45 am Edit
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    Good Point!

    Reply
    Jocasta Silver says:
    May 27, 2014 at 1:43 pm Edit
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    I agree with Trajedy99 that killing off Godric was a stupid move. We could have seen (through Sookie) how his presence changed Eric’s behavior more. Plus, a part of me wants to see a Godric and Eric vs. Russell smack down. (Any chance anybody on here could write a fanfic where that happens?)

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